• 2007: 17 and pregnant
  • 2008: 16 and pregnant
  • 2009: 15 and pregnant
  • 2010: 14 and pregnant
  • 2011: 13 and pregnant
  • 2012: 12 and pregnant
  • ...
  • 2023: fetus and pregnant

  • Doctor: Are you sexually active?
  • Me: Ha
  • Me: Hahahaha
  • Me: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
  • Me: HAHA THAT'S A GOOD ONE.
  • Me: OH MY GOD WHAT IS AIR
  • Me: JESUS TAKE THE WHEEL OH MY GOD
  • Me: Hahaha
  • Me: Haaa....
  • Me: Whooooooo, that was a good one.
  • Me: No, no I am not.

tastefullyoffensive:

[via]
THE BEST TRAIN CONVERSATION I HAVE EVER OVERHEARD
  • Man 1: But I'm not Gay!
  • Man 2: Yeah, but if you WERE. Thor or Loki?
  • Man 1: but I'm not!
  • Man 2: IRRELEVANT! THOR OR LOKI!
  • Man 1: honestly?
  • Man 2: THOR OR LOKI!
  • Man 1: probably Iron Man.
  • Man 2: SERIOUSLY? TONY STARK?
  • Man 1: yeah. I'd love to be Robet Downey Jr's bitch. God, that man....
  • Man 2: ooh I know what you mean. how would he proceed?
  • Man 1: well we'd be having dinner and he'd have his hand on my leg and he'd whisper in my ear and tell me exactly what he was going to do to me.
  • Man 2: oh yeah..
  • Man 1: and then his hand'd go further to the top of my leg and start grasping my-
  • Random Woman: EXCUSE ME THERE ARE CHILDREN ON THIS TRAIN.
  • *awkward silence*
  • Man 2: ...and you said you werent gay!

  • Friend: There's nothing worse than death.
  • Me: Final seasons.
  • Me: Post-concert depression.
  • Me: When there's no food.
  • Me: Fictional characters dying.
  • Me: Hipster blogs.
  • Me: Crying over bands.
  • Me: When ships aren't canon.
  • Friend: ....
  • Me: When penises appear on your dash while your mother is watching.

[Flash 9 is required to listen to audio.]